Kenneth W. Olson (1960-2021)

I’d like to tell you about my sister’s husband Ken Olson who left an enormous hole in our hearts and our lives when he passed away in the spring of 2021. Gloria Vanderbilt, whose son passed away at age 23, said, “People will start to talk about him and then say, “Oh, I’m sorry,” and I say, “No, I love to talk about him more, more, more…. because that brings him alive and it brings him closer; and it means he has not been forgotten.” This story is my way of remembering and honoring Ken’s life.

Ken was a handsome, muscular guy with a wicked sense of humor and an infectious laugh. You couldn’t help but laugh at his stories or viewpoints on life; the giggles would just pop out. He had a strong, commanding presence and large personality. He was an authentic person before that was even a thing. My brother-in-law was a Harley Davidson guy and enjoyed riding, buying, and selling bikes. He always had at least 1 motorcycle in the garage and enjoyed going on long road trips with friends. He never talked about it much, but he was a veteran who served as a medic in the Army for four years before he came into my sister’s life in 1985. He was a competitive body builder and had won several of the competitions he entered.

I was 15 years old when we met. He and his motorcycle were in our driveway hanging out with my sister when I arrived. I had gotten a ride home from the local hospital where I volunteered as a candy striper. I was wearing my candy striper uniform, which was a pinafore made from thin cotton fabric with pink and white pinstripes. He always remembered the day we met and would fondly laugh about that first impression. He and my sister Sharon dated, fell in love, and had a big, fun wedding in 1988. He became my big brother, and I always knew he was there for me.

Shortly after Sharon and Ken married, he went to truck driving school and obtained his commercial license and started driving a semi-truck for a living. After a few years working for Roadway, he left and became an owner-operator. He enjoyed the freedom of being his own boss and the adventure of the road. They had two beautiful sons, Dillon and Trevor. Ken worked hard to provide for his family, and being an owner-operator truck driver is a tough profession. He contracted with many companies, and most years he was on the road 5 days out of 7 and didn’t get to spend as much time with his family as they would all like. He was exhausted after coming off of the road and would try to get rested sleeping in his own bed for the weekend. The weekends were also the time when the family maintained his truck. Oil changes and other expensive truck repairs would monopolize many of their weekends and his boys learned mechanic skills. They completed all of the routine maintenance and many of the repairs themselves.

The life of a truck driver is very hard on the body; sitting for so long causes many physical problems, and exercise is also tough to do. He wasn’t able to eat healthily on the road; as it is difficult to find healthy food at diner’s or truck stops. Living out of a truck for 5 days is isolating and lonely. He made these sacrifices to care and provide for his family, whom he loved very much. He would speak about happier days to come when he retired and could sleep in his own bed every night. He was looking forward to coming off the road to enjoy time with his family.

In May of 2020, during the early months of COVID-19, North Carolina was on lock-down with exceptions made for essential workers. Schools and many businesses closed as this was before the vaccine was available. Ken went to the emergency room with severe pain and was diagnosed with cancer on May 15th. There were two tumors, one on his liver and the other on his gall bladder, which created a great deal of pain and digestion issues. Due to the type of cancer, treatment was not an option. This was devastating. He was only 59 years old. All of our lives changed in an instant.

After that first trip to the ER, he never drove his truck again, and it was no longer safe for him to ride his Harley-Davidson. The world pandemic created challenges within the medical systems. There were changes in hospital protocols limiting people in hospital rooms-so my sister had to handle all of the hospital & ER visits alone. There were also extra concerns to keep him safe from exposure to COVID when he was at home since he was high-risk. His semi had to be sold, and he entered into the care of hospice within a month from that first ER visit.

My sister and her sons, with the help from hospice, cared for him during the 11 months he survived living with the painful tumors. He suffered great pain every day and lost more than half of his body weight. We got to “celebrate” a few more holidays and got together for his 60th birthday in October. He didn’t want gifts, but he did want to get together and have cake as a family. He spoke to me of resignation to the prognosis and a peace that his faith in God gave him. He passed away on April 7th, 2021 in his home, which was his desire.

He was the patriarch of our family since 2007, assuming the role when our dad passed away from pancreatic cancer. He was my sister’s protector and provider for the 33 years of their marriage. The shock of this terminal illness and great loss is hard to put into words and our family is still processing the grief.

Motorcycles were a passion of Ken’s for his entire life. The Smokin’ Harley Davidson dealership in Greensboro, NC has a memorial with the names of fallen riders etched into large marble slabs. Our father’s name is on it and Sharon got Ken’s name on the wall just in time for the annual memorial service. This beautiful memorial wall with years’ worth of fallen rider’s names is located parallel to and facing a busy highway just a short walk from the dealership’s main building.

My sister and I took a trip to this memorial wall 1 year following his passing to pay our respects. We sat near his name and talked about the past year and how much we miss him. There was a huge white X in the sky from vapor trails left by airplanes, which felt like a sign and a large bird of prey was gliding in the air currents high above us. We heard a semi-truck headed towards us on the highway and glanced up and in large lettering above a painting of an American flag it said “Rollin Remembrance”. A trailer is 53 feet long and it looked like a rolling billboard. We both got goose bumps up and down our arms and tears sprung to our eyes. We looked at each other in amazement tinged with a touch of shock at this unexpected gift. It was so comforting to receive these beautiful signs and feel his presence so strongly. We know that he is still watching over our family which helps us as we process our grief. Thank you, Ken for being in our lives and watching over us now in spirit, you will never be forgotten. #HarleyDavidson, #griefjourney, #griefletter