These are the words on a sticky note my daughter wrote, many years ago, and it was sticking on the side of our refrigerator. How true. Dreams give us hope to continue. Dreams bring us happiness; not only in their attainment but on our journey to attainment as well as when they are born.
One of my dreams, since I was 7 or 8 years old, was to own a Pony. I read every horse book available and I mean every single one. I would spend hours every day on the orange chair in the living room reading. I was the kid who went home with 7 or 8 books when the monthly Scholastic Book order arrived. Thank you, Mom. My parents could not afford to buy me a horse or lessons to ride a horse but they could afford to buy me books. My dream was that I would walk up to my horse and he would nicker to me and nuzzle my neck and I would have a pocket full of treats to give him. I did get to experience live horses on trail rides in Lake Tahoe a few times and I still wanted a horse.
I realized this dream. Pinch me. On June 12, 2015 I wrote the check to Parker Lovell for Pony Max or Gifted Jewels if you want to call him by his show name. The date was especially meaningful because June 12th was my father’s birthday and he didn’t get to see me realize this dream. (I'm sure he would have made a comment about how expensive it is to own a horse.)
At the time, I called him my mid-life crisis horse, based on my age and the level of crazy that the idea of owning my own horse felt like. What did I know about owning a horse? How am I going to manage a spirited show horse? (Pony is a diva, as everyone who knows him will tell you. He has been compared to a Lamborghini). Well, I knew about absolutely nothing, but Parker was willing to help me realize this dream of mine. Was I afraid? Yes, I was terrified. I spent the first month crying, worried I would do something wrong. He stepped on my toes, literally, a lot! He even bit me a few times. He also would sometimes run or walk away from me when I went out to put his halter on and bring him in.
It was about 6 months after I became Pony’s owner and my daughter and I arrived to the barn and went out to get him from the pasture to ride him one Sunday morning. The sun was brightly shining and it was probably 40 degrees. He was lying down in the sun on the remnants of the hale bale and was flanked by one of the other horses in the herd. This was actually the first time I had ever seen him lying down and I was able to get a photo of him. He was adorable and his position looked like the donkey in the manger figurine in my mom’s nativity set. The horse protecting Pony Max was perpendicular to him and was facing out keeping watch. Horses are prey animals and if you have ever seen a horse stand up from a lying down position it is a slower process. They don’t spring up like a cat. When they are ready to get up, they get their front legs under them and slowly lever and heft their body into a standing position up. Horses must feel safe enough to lie down, so it is nice that they will take turns guarding each other. They live their life prepared to run away from danger as fast as they can with a second’s notice. Horses can sleep standing up but they require at least 30 minutes for recumbency to fulfill their REM sleep needs. They need to feel comfortable enough to take a load off. Unsuitable environmental conditions, musculoskeletal discomfort and low standing on the pecking order can limit the ability of some horses to lie down which can lead to REM deficiency. (Equinews)
We also need to take a load off once in a while. We all know we should get enough rest at night and how restorative sleep can be. But there are also other ways that you can take a load off. You can take a load off mentally. You might have to create space and time for thinking, dreaming, and contemplating in today’s busy world. Contemplation is highly underrated. We are bombarded by our electronic devices telling us there are messages we missed and how many people posted in the past hour. To unplug and take time out to think about things adds value in ways that may be hard to quantify. One of these benefits is in daydreaming.
I remember a boss once told me there is a benefit in “just taking time out to think” and I thought he was crazy and also that he had a wife and probably had more time than I did. I was a very stressed-out person. I was working full time and had a 1-year-old and this concept seemed impossible to me. Being a new mom was rewarding, however the changes an infant goes through in the first 12 months of life was very overwhelming to me. I was a people pleaser in my first job managing other people and was overwhelmed at work as well. I was much too busy to slow down. I didn't know that being too busy is the very reason to make the time to slow down.
You are showing yourself compassion when you create the space and take the time to reflect and contemplate what is going on in your life and daydream about your desires. Clarity often comes in the form of answers to your questions or next steps are revealed in regards to the uncertainties you are experiencing in life.
Perhaps some of you have been chastised or punished in the past for daydreaming and have been programmed to think it is bad. Maybe you are a “multi-tasker” or stay “focused” and on a task most of the time. Or maybe you are overbooked and rushing from place to place with no time to breathe in between.
I finally reached a point in my life that I decided that I was going to live a tranquil life full of peace and free from stress and anxiety, and I work hard at it. If you struggle to feel comfortable enough to take a load off, then enlist a friend in your herd to help you. Make space and time to let your brains roam and guard the dreaming time together.
Now I understand why I need to make and take the time to meditate, think and daydream. My next dream is of owning goats. Baby goats.
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